The Wedding... Part Four

I know this one is far from my best, but I figured I'd write it to pass the time as my computer spends hours uploading videos:

Meanwhile, Nigel was beginning to get restless... If only he could finish the ceremony, he would be free to go drink his tea and exuberrate his fantasticisms in peace. As the high-strung crowd began to settle down, and the King of Swing and Lacey the Euro Mut took their places by the door to keep the villains from reentering the hall, he got an idea. Suddenly, a booming voice was heard resonating inside those four walls. With all the enthusiasm he could find within him, he screamed out in anguish, "MAN AND WIFE!!! WILL YOU KISS THE BRIDE, ALREADY?!!"

Though in a somewhat unruly manner, the lovers had, alas, been legally married. After pausing to stare at Nigel in awe, they turned to face each other, once more. Finally... They kissed. And kissed again. And again. Wow, these two just can't keep their hands off each other, can they?

Everyone proceeded to the reception, anxious to consume the wonderful cuisine they'd heard word of, and especially the Bran-flavored mashed potatoes all believed to mark the end of the villain's reign. As the food was brought out by the servers, Benji gasped and collapsed... No... It couldn't be... Not CHEESE!

As the villains appeared once more, Donyelle did the custom pirouette, immediately transforming herself as Champagne Girl. Always the fast thinker, she withdrew a canolli, preparing to fight with it to the death. Yes - of course - canollis are made with ricotta cheese! Using the weapon made from the single dairy substance, save for chocolate, that the partially lactose intolerant Benji was not affected by, she surrounded her husband in a shrine of desserty goodness, shielding him from the harmful rays of cheese.

Next she withdrew her final defense... One she had acquired through her time spent as a member of the secret agency TOFU (Trainers Of Flavorless Unpleasantries)... That misunderstood creature that is soy. Immediately, the soy moved in on all food, neutralizing the dairy. Benji immediately rose as his strength was regained. Pirouetting, he joined Champagne Girl, now adorned in his official Caviar Man attire. Joining their canolli and fishsticking powers, the two drove the villains to their knees. Leaning down, they whispered something to them so as to prevent their guests from hearing the travesty. "Now... it's just the end of the line..." Caviar Man tells them sweetly, imitating the familiar song.

In response, Tahir told him, "You can see, she's a beautiful girl... She's a BEAUTIFUL girl... Suddenly I see... Suddenly I see... You're the man with whom she's meant to be." He began to cry, realizing just what he'd done to hurt the woman he loves. The two pirouetted, becoming simply Benji and Donyelle, once more. Donyelle leaned down to the villains, taking all lima beans from their persons. Without their secret sustaining power, the immortality of the two was broken, and both fell victim to their earlier fates.

Benji and Donyelle turned back to their guests, relieved that the villains had been defeated, at last. Or... had they...?? Are those mashed potatoes in the corner... twitching...??

~ Moose ~